**Please note: the context of this post, isn’t applicable to everyone but it’s worth reading and all comments or suggestions are welcome.

I am starting a series on Body Language that would run at least once a week for the next four weeks. It’s centred on the study of The New Psychology Of Body Language by Geoffrey Beattie and Understanding Body Language by Richard Thompson (to mention a few).

What is Body Language?

Michael Argyle and Peter Trower state humans express themselves in 2 distinct forms (a) language (through the use of words) and (b) non verbal communication.

Body language is a form of non verbal communication which is expressed through body pose, gestures, eye movements, hand signals etc.

The benefits of body language are as follows:

It aids constructive interaction with people It helps in convincing others to accept what you say. It could prevent misunderstandings. It increases your chances of dating people and building relationships. It helps understand our feelings and acknowledge the feelings of others.

The aim of this post is to highlight (expose laugh!!) simple body language signs that represent certain behaviours, character, attitudes you exhibit in our daily lives. The following body language signs are based on the feedback from questionnaires filled out by friends identifying those signs common to them.

(Self Esteem/Confidence) Body Language Signs

Hands behind the back show you are confident, relaxed, appear to know what you are talking about, a bit authoritative, powerful and comfortable. Head lowered indicates low self confidence, guilt and acceptance of defeat. Running fingers through hair could mean you are showing confidence in your looks, trying to gain attention or is visibly frustrated at certain events happening at that time. A smart or brisk walk with an upright posture could indicate a healthy level of self esteem and confidence. Constant pulling, scratching or patting down the hair shows low self confidence and insecurity. Avoiding eye contact displays lack of confidence, fear, guilt and in exceptional cases it could be a sign of submission if the eyes are lowered. Continuous blinking of the eye indicates nervousness.

(Thinking/Decision Making) Body Language Signs

Stroking the chin could mean you are about to make a decision. Hands on the cheek connote thinking. Looking directly upwards or hands on the forehead shows you are thinking deeply. Looking upwards and to the right indicates you are trying hard to remember something.

(Showing Interest) Body Language Signs

A tilted head (sometimes backwards) indicates you are showing keen interest in something occurring at that time. It could be a particular topic, movie, discussion, person etc. Stroking the front of the neck could mean showing concern for what someone else is saying. Nodding casually and occasionally indicates you are listening and is interested in what’s been said. A bright or widening eye shows a high level of interest in what’s been said or discussed.

(Not Interested) Body Language Signs

Eyes roaming all over the place implies you’ve lost interest, is bored and not listening. Excessive nodding gives the impression you’ve lost interest and would just want to end the conversation. Tugging the ear means you are undecided. Rubbing the nose shows you don’t agree with what is being said and doubts the concept of the discussion. Kicking lightly or tapping your foot suggests you are completely bored and you’ve exhausted all your patience.

(Irritation) Body Language Signs

A break in eye contact could mean you feel threatened, insulted, irritated or your lies have been exposed. Quick glances into space during a conversation could mean you were irritated by the last statement made.

(Gossip) Body Language Signs

Eyes moving from side to side during a conversation could suggest other people shouldn’t hear or get involved in your discussion, gossip and slander. Once again, a bright or widening eye shows could show a high level of interest in the discussion (gossip). Touching or pulling the ear indicates you are possibly lying about someone or something.

(Being Open) Body Language Signs

Open arms indicates you are approachable, love, show warmth, give affection, is friendly etc. Palms touching the chest could imply your honesty. Upward hand gestures expresses and open and positive message. Smiling also shows you are comfortable, warm, friendly, easy going etc.

(Anxiety) Body Language Signs.

Sweaty palms in some cases reflect anxiety. Fingers crossed could signify hope or a bit of anxiety Clearing the throat or swallowing air could mean a display of anxiety. Tapping or drumming fingers shows impatience and frustration. Biting your fingernails (not the bad habit) indicates nervousness and anxiety. Fiddling with all kinds of items within your reach could mean you are anxious, bored, nervous etc.

(Possible Flirting) Body Language Signs

Sizing up a person from head to toe could mean you are ‘checking them out’. Eyebrows rising and falling means you are attracted to the person you are looking at. Smiling also depicts you are pleased to see the person. Stealing glances or a continuous gaze at someone suggests you have a desire to know that person. Chest up and forward in men symbolizes a show of strength and for women it could be seen as a provocative romantic display. Hips pushed forward while leaning back is a provocative and suggestive gesture. Fixing collars, pulling up socks, hands in pockets are a few ways the male ego manifests.

There are more examples but it would be limited to these ones today. In the mean time, can you relate to any or all of the body language signs above? There are so many other body language signs exclusive to each of us. Do you have any more suggestions?

I look forward to your comments.

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach and Counsellor. He is a member of the EMCC, an accredited professional counsellor with the Counselling Society.You can visit the website Discovering Purposeto read or subscribe to personal development articles. Building a fulfilling life through personal development.

In general, the whole concept of the dating game is quite a challenge for most guys, basically because the fact remains that women are complex characters that men find hard to please. With this regard, this article came into being with the hope of helping guys ease out their concerns and perplexities about dating.

Women are deemed as mysterious. And this notion seems to be so intent on staying intact since no one is in authority to disclose what the mysteries are all about.

Anyways, these dating tips for guys will assist you in getting the woman of your choice. Here, you will be taught the proper way to dress and to act during a date, among others.

If you make it right, you will be on your way to a successful relationship.

Whatever advises you will come across on this article, rest assured you will merit yourself good favors no matter what situation you are in right now. Whether you are brokenhearted, never dated before or have been into it for years, these dating tips will do well for you.

Rule of thumb when you go out on a date: always look presentable and be at your best. Wear decent and appropriate clothing and shoes. Remember, women check out a guy’s shoes. Get a set of wardrobe that suits you perfectly, the kind that complements you. This includes the right shade and cut.

Stay Clean and Look Fresh

Never forget that personal hygiene is vital. It is important that you look clean and fresh all the time. Have your hair cut if necessary. If you want, you can always ask for professional help to help you get the style that you want. If you have long hair, then maybe it is about time you allow a pair of scissors to do wonders with it and give it a new look, or if you have a bald head, nothing beats the luster after a professional shave.

Professionals are readily available to assist you. Again, hygiene is overly important. Make it part of your daily routine to take a shower daily. Stay fresh each and every day.

Courageous And Bold

Be informed. It is wise to read book on manners and anything about being courteous and chivalric in order to fish out more information that will be of great help. Bear in mind that women are most grateful when they are treated with respect. Hence, do just that. Treat her like a real gentleman does. Do not just let her know but see to it that she feels special around you. Also, know something about clothes, bags, or any woman stuff so you will have something to talk about just in case you find out you have nothing in common.

Little information helps. You do not have to master everything.

Moreover, be aware of what’s going on around you. Be up to date with current events as well so you will have a wider scope of topics to talk about. This additional knowledge will make you smarter.

Pay Attention to Time

Every time you go out on a date, always be on time. Tardiness is a big turn off. Also, women have the tendency to think of the worst. When you are late, many things may run on her pretty head. She may think you are not really interested and excited on going out with her, or may think of you as unreliable.

On the other hand, being too early has its own pitfall too. If you do so specifically if you are picking her at her place, she may not be finished preparing yet or you may find her half-dressed for your date. Surely, you do not want to put pressure on her to rush on her clothes and make-up, do you?

Never forget to pay her a compliment the moment you see her. Keep it flowing all through your entire date. Women love to be complimented to make them feel beautiful and sexy. So do not be too dramatic and go overboard to the point of irritating your date or making her feel uncomfortable. Be sincere.

Have a two-way conversation. Do not steal all the limelight with the intention of impressing her. Listen to her story as well. You ask questions in order for you to know her more.

To impress a girl, you do not have to talk endlessly about you. Rather, learn to talk and listen at the same time. You have to hear her side you know. Be a listener as well and be a good one.

Money Matters

Nowadays, it is obvious how women have changed so much. They even make an issue on who pays the bill when out on a date. Women are very independent now and wants to take care of most things including date bills. Naturally, guys will not allow this for they are used to the notion that guys should pay the expenditure when dating. Well, if your date insists that she wants to pay, fine. Go along with it but you have to pay at least half of the bill.

Kissing her goodnight is another issue specifically on the first date. Take note that there are women who do not like to be kissed after the date, while there are also those who feel disappointed when the guy does not.

To find out if she wants to be kissed or not, read her gestures. Or, wait if she will initiate.

If you do like the girl and wants to see her again, get her number. However, do not lead her on to believe that you will call her if you have no intentions of seeing or hearing from her again. If you are not truly interested for another date, thank her for a wonderful time, bid her farewell and walk on. On the contrary, if you want to date her again, let her know.

Satisfactory and successful dating experience will be yours if you do it well enough. Take heed from these advices and you are granting yourself probable exciting moments that can be yours to cherish.

Some pick up lines are boring and rude.

When have you heard some of the cheesiest of pick up lines like the following…

“Your name must be Gillette, because you’re the best a man can get.”

Using a line like these will get you nowhere with a woman fast, chances are she will not even speak to you.

Because pick of lines such as these, which are bad get too much attention, while encouraging others to consider that all pick up lines are worthless.

However, this is not correct.

A good pick up line will ACTUALLY help you pick up a woman.

Understand: The whole point of using a pick up line is to get a conversation started.

That’s it.

Once you get the girl talking with you, then you can work your magic and do what you need to do to get the date, the phone number, or the make-out.

Remember, if you do not begin a conversation, you cannot do much more.

Because you shouldn’t just be talking to a girl. You should be ENGAGING the girl. Pulling her into a conversation with you is the only sure-fire way to further your agenda.

And guess what? A good pick up line will do that!

But don’t be fooled into thinking you can get away with a line like:

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

This is lame pick up line and women know it, this is not a clever pick up line and makes you look bad.

Other bad pick up lines include, asking for directions and complimenting her on her clothing.

Why?

Because these things do not ENGAGE the girl. Once she responds, there is nothing to keep her in the conversation.

Good pick up lines avoid “yes and no” answers. They are about getting the girl to think about her response, evoking an emotional reaction, and making her WANT to continue to communicate with you.

How do you engage a woman in conversation?

The easiest way is to ask her opinion about something. Every woman has strong opinions, and they aren’t afraid to share them! (Particularly when they come to relationships!)

So to give you an example, you could say something like: “Hey, can I get your opinion on something real quick? Do you think it’s weird for a woman to try and get pregnant because she wants her baby to be born under a certain astrological sign? I really want to hear a woman’s perspective on this.”

Once you engage her in the conversation you may follow up with a tale of some woman who wants to be sure she and her children are astrologically compatible, to make life a bit more enjoyable as life moves along.

This leads to all kinds of different topics to talk about, things like:

1. Astrology 2. Children 3. Pregnancy 4. Marriage 5. Relationships

The numerous ideas for conversations are unlimited. Here you will find a few of my favorite follow-ups.

“Are you a believer in astrology?” (This can begin conversations about destiny and fate.)

“Are you fond of children? You seem very nurturing.”

A good pick up line design draws a woman into an interestingly deep conversation, while allowing you the opportunity of getting to know one another better and becoming familiar with one another.

This is how you begin conversations.

From that point, it should be rather easy to ask her for a telephone number and possibly set up a first date.

Body language is non-verbal communication, but is used along with verbal communication. It expresses our emotions, conveys our attitudes, demonstrates our personality traits and supports out verbal communications. Everyone uses this whenever we communicate with each other.

In any culture there are different non-verbal behaviors which are used, such as the thumbs up to indicate “way to go” or “good job”. And, you will find that the six primary emotions of happiness, surprise, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust will be common throughout all of the different cultures. These six come from our own instincts and cannot be taught to us, because they naturally appear when we communicate with others. When having a conversation other individuals you will have an expression that will come from your subconscious. Because it comes from your subconscious, others will be able to tell a great deal about you.

Fear is a natural human emotion and serves a purpose related to our safety and security. But let us imagine a person who has witnessed a serious auto mobile accident, but rather than running to the aid of the injured; they run franticly in the opposite direction. This frantic running away is body expression that certainly infers some kind of fear. Specifically what that fears might be we cannot know without talking to the person. But it is obvious that the fear has nothing to do with immediate safety. Through this example you should be able to see how we can read anothers personality through the lens of his body language.

There is one experiment that you could try at home – see how much information people give you about themselves through their body communication. When you are talking with someone, you should observe their body language as they talk. After a couple of minute’s observation, close your eyes and continually listen to them. You will not be able to see their hands moving, facial expressions, or other bodily movements. You will, however, notice how much information is not available to you because your eyes are closed. This process becomes difficult to read and understand without actually seeing the person’s body expression accompanying them speaking.

One concrete way to learn how to read someone’s body language is to observe them and get to know how they act. You should remember that all individuals have six common types of instinctual body language. But, these do vary in degree of expression. There are non-verbal communications which will also be common among certain cultures, societies and families. Due to this, two different people can have very similar behaviors which will be expressed through similar types of body language. If you know your own body language, then you will find it easier to read similar ones in others, and therefore will provide you with an insight into another people’s personalities.

As you progress and continue to learn your own body language and how it relates to the behaviors of your sub consciousness, you will need to be conscious of the fact that you don’t overdo this. After some time, you will recognise the only goal will be to match your thoughts with your own body language. In this process, you are not concerned about judging yourself, but want to learn how to read your own body language so that you will later be able to read the body language of others. After, you will be able to use the information you have gained for your own understanding.

Once you recognize some of your own body language movements and what they mean, you will be able to begin to read other people with more accuracy. When you are having a conversation with someone, you will be able to identify different things such as mixed messages. These mixed messages will be identified when an individual says one thing, yet their body communications something else.

A good example is when someone lies to you. They tell you, “I didn’t do it!”, but the tone of voice, the looking away, and the slight nervousness lets you know that something is not quite right in what they are telling you. This conflict between verbal language and body language could signal deception. Mixed messages are most certainly related to insincerity and point to that person as having something to hide.

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A lot of people have taken to online dating like ducks to water because it works or, at least, it can do. Women are, in general, squeamish of meeting a man that they have been chatting to online.

All they have heard about are the frightening things that can happen and, I must say that they have a right to be wary to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what is a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for the right girl for you.

You must be patient. Do not|Don’t| press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking to you online. Don’t attempt to rush her into meeting you face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Be completely honest about your physical appearance and your job. A strong relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually, she will find out the truth anyway and then you are back to square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. So an idea would be to post many pictures of yourself carrying out your everyday activities and make them full body, not just of your head. After all. if you were dating a girl in the real world she would not just see your head, would she?

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her.

After all, you have nothing to lose, have you? And everything to gain. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. So, the only thing left to do is to is make her feel safe meeting you.